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Minahspeak on Wordpress

I've decided to move over to Wordpress because they automatically run on mobile version, which is so much easier on the eyes, when I access from my iPhone.

Like how we Minahs have our photos as our wallpapers on our phones/desktops/laptops/notebooks/iphones/itouch/ipad ("Apa siak iPad? Foolscap pad aku tau ar!" -fellow Minah friend when news of iPad was first launched), I am a Minah who reads my own blog all the time.

Bedek ar korang tak baca blog sendiri.
Takmo step Johnny Depp pls. (Read here.)

So anyways, drop by my Wordpress.

I'll update from my mobile when The Mat leaves me waiting while he takes a quick shower, or one of those janji Melayu things are happening to me and I'm left holding a smoking table at Starbucks with 3 bottles of mineral water and about ten million people giving me the evil eye and dirty looks.

Update your bookmarks yo!
(Or be more canggih la, use Google Reader.)



Been a while, hasn't it?

Oh, the love.Collapse )

How's everybody? Hope life's treating you well.


Perihal batu yang belum bersalah..

Hello y'all! Missed me? Sorry la gang, been busy with.. WORK. Boring I know. Apa nak buat, cari makan. Dan savings buat kahwing!

That mentioned, I finally found a piece of email I remembered receiving once, but then I don't know what happened to it, got lost in the deep realm of the world wide web and since then I haven't been able to find anything remotely close to it.

Shame on you Google.

But good news, recently I decided to blow some dust off my Tagged account, and as I profile hopped, I found what I was looking for! I hope whoever the genius was who came up with it doesn't mind that I edited it for easier reading, because very often in my conversations, I'd say, "Alahhhh, batu masih bersalah lagi tu!"

You may have read this!Collapse )

That said, true to some point isn't it? What happens during honeymoon period, and then after.

The Mat and I, we usually make jokes in 'Batu Belum Bersalah' style. I tell him to pass the ashtray and I go, "B, pass I ashtray please?". And then as he passes the ashtray, he'd jokingly say, "Skarang tanya baik-baik, nanti dah lama-lama you ckp ngan I, 'Eh ashtray bawak sini! Tak nampak ke orang nyer abok rokok dah nak berterabuh ni?'".

So the next time your gal pal is gushing about how romantic her new man is, and you're pretty much sick and tired of hearing that stuff (because we know that 87.236522% of Minahs fall in and out of love easily on the average of every 3.77429 months), you can quickly and easily dismiss her with a, "Ah sudahlah kau! Tak habis-habis story macam gini jer. Bila batu pulak yang tak bersalah?".
Aku tak cukop tido. Nak tahu apasal? Sebab, aku kenal ngan satu Mamat ni, dia becok to the max kalah aku seratus kali. Betul tak bedek. Nak bedek korang, tak dapat duit. So apa kena mengena dia becok pastu aku tak tido? Pasal according to Mamat ni, aku dah jadi Minah Rempit sepenuh masa for the last dua hari.

Al kisah seekor Minah Rempit.Collapse )

Pasal apa, bedek tak dapat _________. Sila fill in the blanks ye. Pandaiiiiii.

Terima kasih.

Se[insert penjodoh bilangan here] Pantun

This pantun is courtesy of a Pestbuster Mat.

"Ayam berkokok, di atas kereta.
Da kasi rokok, kasi ar lighter.."

Now, what is the chicken doing on the car?!


Just so you know, I'm actually on a Pelarian stint. If you don't know what that is, read this.

In College Girl definition, I'm just busy with 'exams' and such variety.
In Kakak Opis definition, I'm swamped with work.
In ghetto Minah definition, I haven't been home much and yes makcik, I am up to no good with your son(s).
In standard Minah definition, aku MALAS. Hahahahahaha.

Take your pick, because we only listen to believe what we want to.

The other day, I was having a bad bad day at work and one of my favourite Mat friends found me on MSN. He started telling me about something one of his subordinates said to him at work and this line of his just got me smiling;

"..I ketawa non stop hits sey heheheh!"

Of course he meant to say just 'non-stop' but couldn't resist finishing it off with 'hits'. I mean, in Mat world, 'non-stop' almost always comes with 'hits' right? SO FUNNEH!

That's it. Quick one for today because, hello kring kring, it's 4am, where could I possibly updating this from if I'm on the run (pelarian = lari = run)? If you're thinking I'm at some dodgy 24hr cybercafe near to Mustafa Centre kind of place, you could be right. Or you could be so wrong because I could also be in bed, updating this from my iPhone before I doze off after some hard, well-deserved, TGIF partying.

Chaoromanos bebehs.

(Box of Ferrero Rocher to whoever who can tell me where 'chaoromano' came from. I've been doing research on this forever and closest I got was a tip that this phrase was from a Shell petrol advert but I can't verify it.)
Blog ni berabuk or what? Nasib baik aku tak amek sponsors, or else dah kena suruh bungkus agaknya. Yeah well, I'm Malay, I do things for fun, because I like it, because I'm passionate about it and yes you are wrong, it's not just because I am lazy to work a little bit harder for the moolah.

Duit mana mana boleh cari beb. Tapi love, and sanity, lies deep within.
Fuh, deep keperrr.

So for everyone and anyone who has been bugging me on MSN or when they see me, asking me apasal dah lama aku tak blog, terlupa password ke and mostly, mana aku menghilang..

Here's my answer!Collapse )

For the more elite Minahs, who would like to add double punch to their replies, just answer the above, which relates to where, and double it with a who factor.

Tak faham? Ok, example.

Bla bla bla..Collapse )

So yeah, see you when I see you. Kirim salam peluk cium mak bapak nenek atuk kakak abang adik sedara and pakcik sebelah rumah punya burung tiung.


Giler (verb/adverb)

Giler is 'gila', misspelled because in school we practise bahasa baku and Minahspeak is generally bahasa pasar. Some spell it as 'gile' but I don't think it looks as nice without the 'r' and a five-letter word would mean you need to drag the second syllable a bit longer than the first. If you don't get what I mean, spell it however it makes you happy ok.

The usage of giler. Shouldn't be new to you, really.Collapse )

Note that excessive use of this word is irritating giler. It might also result in you getting a postfix suffix (is that the opposite of prefix? terima kasih ohmydella !) to your name, especially if your name is as common as Ain or Hafiz. I have friends we call Ain Giler and Hafiz Giler. Ain because, well, she's kinda wacky crazy, and Hafiz because everything to him is 'baik giler', 'bodoh giler', 'mepek giler' or 'giler babi'.

Raya this weekend peeps, sesiapa yang masih terkial-kial nak gantung langsir, cat rumah atau baru start bikin kuih, benda last minit ni semua kerja giler la gang.

Eli The Minah

Jual minyak

Raya preps must already have started for most, if not already in full swing. Today at iftar, my mother reminded me that Raya is 10 days away. I think she's hinting that my chocolate chip cookies need to start being baked, if I ever want to score points with guests who have hot, single and available sons.

Nak jual minyak ajer aku nih.

Jual minyak: The act of selling yourself via heavy (sometimes shameless) flirting. Similar to the very Makcikfied act of selling balms (like minyak bam, minyak lintah, minyak bubut etc) or perfumes (minyak wangi dari Avon dan brand-brand sewaktu dengannya), thus coining this amazingly huh-worthy phrase for the non-minahspeaking.

But the logic is there, sales is sales - you need to throw your product into your customer's face, and do everything it takes to sell it. Just that in this case, you're selling yourself!

Anyway friends, selling yourself is not difficult, really. Come, let me share some tips.

Top Ten Tips for Minahs yang nak Jual MinyakCollapse )

On an entirely different note, korang dah jejak bazaar di Geylang Serai lum? (Sebab kalo aku ckp Geylang jer nanti lain pulak korang fikir kan.) It's not massively crowded like maybe compared to last year, but I still get that feel good feeling walking among all them Mats&Minahs.

Then again, maybe it's just me. :D

Eli The Minah

Macam biskot

I got this comment on my previous entry.

Kalau yang marah kena jual, yang banyak soal aku cincang buat inti samosa boleh?Collapse )

As for the biskot phrase, it's from the Chipsmore (yes the cookie) advert on TV back in the 90s. "Skejap ada, skejap takder!" said the kid after gobbling up the cookie (if my memory serves me correctly haha!). It was to illustrate that Chipsmore is so good, it's there a second and gone another (gobbled up by more of those naughty comot kids).

With that, it has been established that anything that was once there, and then not anymore in a blink of the eye, shall be remembered after the Chipsmore cookie. (cookie = biskot)

And you know what best describes perangai macam biskot?

When someone has bad internet connection and keeps getting signed in and out automatically (or not) on MSN. Irritating to the max keper.